I was the heart breaker here
Maybe I could have joined the crowd to shout all the nasty things that was said that very day
You are blameless but yet still I blamed you
I blamed you for the fact that I didn’t know you well enough to welcome you
I blamed you for the fact that I felt lonely even though you claimed to love me
And I blamed you more for the emptiness that my heart felt even though you were reaching out
I wanted to be touched physically
Touch me till my emotions melt down like the sun on Shea butter
I wanted to know the taste of the kiss to my soul and yet your spirit kept knocking on my heart door and I was looking for the key which was to confess with my mouth
I blamed you for the fact that I had a bad eating habit for that one satisfaction I never found
But i was the heart breaker
You came and made home in my home and I acted like you were a total stranger acting too nice for my liking
But your name sounds so good I want to live in it
Because in the letters of God I found out that your name is the greatest name ever so tell me why I struggle to have complete faith in you.
It looks much easier to cuddle my pillows and hold my head and convince my self that life ain’t fair enough to make me your son but it is much easier to even have faith than cry because all I got to do is hear the word..  your word…  your name
So I come to you
Not in shame nor pride even though I broke your heart
I come and I give my self a second chance to your love
I wanna be loved by you
I wanna feel that touch…  that touch that will spin my life on a faith board of love
I want your name pronounced on me like a bride to a groom
To be pronounced this day as your son and I will not kiss the bride but i will come to the consciousness of my inheritance in you because you will not sign a prenub.
I found the key
I let you in
And you and I will leave a happily ever after even in eternity we will and I will never break your heart again Lord.
Because you are that satisfaction I was looking for and you found me
Even before I was conceived you knew me
You knew I as going to have a black skin and love the romance and act like a little girl with no problems and have this heavy heart of burdeness but you knew me
And you chose me and gave me a love letter to the nations of the world even when I saw my self not worth the message for I was the baddest girl in my hood.
The girl that tried weed and not weep
Drunk and not give the Spirit room but you
You held my hands and held me close enough I was lost in your glory now i have a new mind and a new soul and a fresh spirit with your word written in the tables of my heart
I will preach
And reach
And forever proclaim through my partnership
Because I sail in this ship of ability and my relationship with you is unique you trust me with your Spirit
And I say yes to the call
To the mandate
The vision
The mission
I will demonstrate the character of the Most High in them that I meet each day of my life
So help me God.


Officialmandy, 2016


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